Why are handjobs necessary in class?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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