about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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