The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize