Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my being single is dangerous.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
