We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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