grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
