he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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