Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
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Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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