So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
