We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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