Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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