White coat. Heels.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
