you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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