yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
