Your tits are I can't wait for
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
birth control should be required to get into college
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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