you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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