Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
