I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
