so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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