Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
