well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
