I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
operation have a gay friend backfired
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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