...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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