hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
