ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
