I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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