you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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