I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
please come you make the beer taste better
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
