Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
