Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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