I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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