So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We got so high we made milksteak
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
