I love black thongs
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
