she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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