I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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