capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
