Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
