Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
