I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
