the condom got lost in my hair
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize