he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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