im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
