HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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