i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is my gift to your gina
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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