Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You've changed since you got that strap on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
