No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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