tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
