This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize