you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
