It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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