she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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