i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize