Someone shit on the floor
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
