u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
