I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
