if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
