i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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