last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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