So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
God, I missed his penis.
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