I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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