There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
