I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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