Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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