If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize