I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
