And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
