I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
